The freaks on the bus go round and round...

Following on from yesterday's rant regarding the young man who will henceforth be known by his Sioux name of Eats With Mouth Open (EWMO), I felt that I should get a few of my other fellow bus travellers out of my system.

1. Michaela Jackson.

On the usual buses that we have, there is a seat behind the driver that is sideways on, so that the person sitting there is facing into the bus and towards the door. This seat is slightly higher than the others, so that if anybody is sitting there that is a bit stumpy of leg, their feet tend to dangle. If they can only just touch the floor, it looks as if they are on tiptoes. The usual occupant of this seat is a lady who tends to wear white ankle socks with black slip-on shoes, and trousers that are slightly too short. Hence Michaela Jackson.

2. The Wicked Witch of the East

There is rather a lanky lady who has greying hair which she always wears in a bun at the nape of her neck. She also has an alarmingly large hooked nose and a cracked voice, as is she was in her 90's, rather than in her 50's or 60's as I suspect she really is. She is very very very much like the Wicked Witch of the East/West/Miss Mulch from the Wizard of Oz. I have yet to ascertain if her toes curl, as I don't know how to do so politely.

3. Hello? Hello? Hello?

The next bus stop on from mine is outside the local mental hospital, so there are a few Care in the Community patients that share my journey. My particular favourite is a young man who is always trying to engage people in conversation, but as most people on the bus are now familiar with him, we all do our best to avoid eye contact. My favourite conversation so far was one he had with a guy who got on the bus wearing a pair of camouflage combat trousers.
- "Are you a soldier?"
-"Actually I was once."
- "Are you in the IRA then?"
-"Er, no."
-"Why not?"
Not the normal route a conversation tends to take in darkest East Anglia.