Things I shouldn’t be doing in work (Part 2)
1. Contemplating the horror that is going to be this Saturday night, when Duck’s parents meet my parents for the first time. That is, quiet, retired, bungalow-dwelling country folk meet loud, tact-deficient cockneys. I was hoping to put this event off until a possible future wedding day, but my shamelessly nosy mother has caught Duck and I unawares by inviting us all out for a meal, before we had a chance to come up with a suitable excuse (like Mr and Mrs Duck have bird-flu or they’re Amish…)
2. Contemplating why I never came up with a suitable excuse (again) for not being able to attend a kitchenware party that my boss is hosting tonight. I think I overheard the demonstrator being referred to as Pam.
3. Contemplating how to flesh out the script for my new action/horror film, “The Demonstrator”. So far, the plot involves innocent smalltown-dwellers attending a kitchenware party, where they are held hostage by “The Demonstrator”, a middle-aged women with big blonde hair and a Laura Ashley dress, hell bent on revenge for the folk who mocked her revolutionary new potato peeler. (Casting tbc, but I’m currently favouring Sandra Dickinson for the lead role, with Nerys Hughes as the hostess.)
4. Er... writing my blog I suppose.
5. Contemplating “How are some staff re-enacting a famous walk?” (as appears on our company intranet). May be a wild guess, but I’m going to go with “by walking”.
6. Contemplating who else could play me in the story of my life should Reece Witherspoon be unavailable.
posted by Kellycat @ 3:56 pm
19 disapproving tuts
19 Comments:
Well, to help with your concern in Point #2, may I suggest saying, "I'm sorry I can't attend, I'm allergic to stainless steel."
That should do the trick.
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Chekkit out!
Ultimate Writer. Is modesty a theme of your blog?
Even I don't pimp myself that shamelessly.
I've given up on excuses. I now just say, "Oh, I can't...." I do not finish that sentence with the obvious (to me) "...because I don't want to."
I hate flipping through the catalogs of those parties, searching for the appropriately priced item so you can just get the hell out.
I wish I could but I don't want to, is brilliant. But it doesn't seem to impress the hostess.
Oooh, was it Tupperware? I love Tupperware. My Mum used to be a Tupperware lady. I've not been invited to a Tupperware party for years.
Sorry to disappoint Donna, but it was "The Pampered Chef" instead. It's an American company that sells you what are basically JMC gadgets, but for five times the price. It was like being in the studio as they are filming QVC. I was sat right in the front and had to try really hard to suppress my giggles at the enthusiastic demonstration of an oven mitt.
One of my colleagues got very unnecessarily excited at winning a plastic citrus peeler at the end of the night. It was very Stepford Wives.
Ahhhh...my sister used to sell the Pampered Chef in her early bored housewife days. I have a surprising number of cast-off PC gadgets. People always think I went wild at a demonstration party.
I do recommend the pizza stone, however.
Oooh, the parents meeting should be exciting. Can't wait for that blog entry!
I went to a Pampered Chef party once. I bought the worlds most expensive whisk. :-)
Still have it though and it hasn't rusted yet-that's a good thing.
Whinger - (hangs head in shame) I also bought the pizza stone (and rack). But at least I could sort of justify that as something that would probably last me a lifetime. As opposed to a nylon potato masher for £5.50!!!
The pressure was just too great.
> Reece Witherspoon
Oh! I saw you more as Jennifer Garner...
My partner's sister sells Pampered Chef. We have the pizza stone (never been used, it lives on the shelf of the basement stairs), the whisk (good for son to play with in yard), lots of other cooking aids (we rarely cook). We own these instead of having to attend parties.
a kitchenware party?
a kitchenware party?
see, saying it more than once doesn't make it make any more sense
are you living in a victoria wood sitcom?
UC - I would have thought by now that you would have realised that my life is a Victoria Wood sketch. If Reece Witherspoon is unavailable, and I'm very, very lucky, I might be able to get Julie Walters to play me.
Should Duck and I get married, "Let'd Do It" will probably be the song for our first dance.
Our "Let's Do It". I must go and cut my nails.
spank me on the bottom with a woman's weekly
sorry, that should be 'beat me'
the passage of time is causing me to forget the old favourites...
I prefer "bend me over backwards on the hostess trolley" and "come and melt the buttons on my flameproof nightie", but that's just a matter of taste.
("you know the pipes want lagging" and then sth to do with sagging, no doubt)
the woman is a MARVEL, nay, a NATIONAL TREASURE (along with ms walters, natch)
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