Move along. Nothing to see here...

No really. There isn't.

I have absolutely nothing to post.

I have no pets or children with which to regale you with cute anecdotes and post Hallmark-like photos.

I have a deadly uninteresting job. I spend most of my day swearing under my breath, phoning IT to complain, and receiving either abuse from customers, or completely inane enquiries that they could have answered themselves if they just took two seconds to think about it, or read the bloody literature I'd already sent them.

You know sometimes when you think you see something out of the corner of your eye, but when you turn there's nothing there? That's my social life. * I do play football occasionally, and I do go to salsa classes twice a week, but even my dance partner has buggered off to a more exciting life in Bermuda for three months.

Having said that, I am going to a wedding reception tomorrow night. Please can you join me in sending prayers to the flat-stomach fairy as I'm already starting to get a bit nervous about the dress I'm wearing and I haven't even begin to contemplate the-beautiful-blue-shoes-that-are-far-too-high-for-me-and-I'm-going-to-be-unable-to-walk-in. Still.

Oh, and I need to do some copywriting tonight, so if anyone has anything interesting to share with me about Lima, do chip in.

As you were.

*No, there! See? No, you missed it again.

We're gonna party like it's my birthday...

So yesterday was my birthday, which means I’m a bit older, but still five years younger than Surly, who btw, got me this incredibly appropriate birthday card (damn bloody WebMarshal). Cheers love.

So how did I spend my birthday? On a all day bender of cider and cheese and onion crisps? “Having it large” down the local nightclub, throwing shapes on the dance floor and then dropping my kebab on the ground at the taxi rank before flashing my knickers at everybody as I fall into the taxi? Spending my vouchers and birthday money on designer handbags I will never use?

No.

I spent the day at home doing nothing. Duck made me breakfast and lunch, before dutifully fulfilling his hunter-gatherer role by going to the local takeaway in the evening to bring back a authentic Chinese meal of rice, chips and curry sauce. I then had a long soak in the bath (followed by a shower to try to remove some of the bath oil) and then went to bed about 10pm.

It was a fabulous day.