People Who Make My Teeth Itch: Part Two

I regret that I shall be unavailable for Saturday nights from October, as I feel it is my duty to stay in and be spiteful about Emma Bunton.

If you also wish ill on "Baby" but have prior engagements, I will be happy to dispense your quota of scorn for you for a small fee. Itemised billing is available, as additional extras such as hissing or witchcraft will incur their own charges.

Some interesting facts

1. If you spend 30 seconds trying to remove a contact lens, when you don't actually have your lenses in, it hurts.

2. If your hormones decide that every few weeks your norks will increase a cup size, then go back down again, then increase again, purely for their own amusement, it hurts.

3. If you eat a plate of chicken chow mein, chips and a whole tub of curry sauce in one sitting, followed by a quarter of a pack of fruit shortcakes, it hurts.